Tunnocks

Back in the nineties, when I first discovered Tunnocks Caramel Wafers, I was won over instantly. The thinness of the chocolate was made up for by the glorious chewiness of the wafer. Then later I found there was a sibling: the intriguing Caramel Log with its roasted coconut coating.

Today, for the first time in ages, I thought I'd treat myself to a pack of wafers, and I can't hide my disappointment: they taste like bleach.

Every Little Helps

I was somewhat gobsmacked when I walked into Tesco in Aston this afternoon. Almost the first thing you see when you walk in is this Darussalam book display. I wasn't sure whether to get my daughter "I Can Wear Hijab Anywhere!" or "Thank You O Allah!"

It was certainly a surprise in the wake of the recent "Please Don't Label Me" billboard campaign. Maybe the billboards should've said "Please Don't Marinade Me".

You can even buy an amazing "laptob" (sic) - a "specious gift for children" (sic again), "very useful for incarcerated persons" (sic!) - trapped in the prison of their tiny minds, no doubt.

No "Hell: Pits of Punishment" though :-( "Full of faith-building information ... A wonderful introduction for impressionable young minds." Maybe if I asked the store manager he could get some in?

I wonder how many UK schools have books like these in their libraries or, god forbid, in their classrooms?

DIY checkouts

Over on the BBC website, a surprisingly long article about such a banal subject. How many words can it take to say "You either like them or you don't"?

I found them a bit tricky to use at first, but I think I've mastered them now!

Christmas at Aldi

☼ Lots of nice Christmassy things at Aldi, including their mini-stollens and Baklava selection (both £1.99). Of course I'd prefer my baklava fresh out of a baking tray, but, as you can see, the Aldi version is popular enough!

Bargain Stock

☼ Having seen them on eBay and on the Web, I popped over to Bargain Stock on Hockley Hill. Slightly disappointing in that they're out of stock on quite a lot of items (most of which won't be restocked) but the guy was very helpful in helping me find what I wanted.

He also showed me round the rest of the place, and apart from the usual electrical stuff he's got quite a large supply of early-years equipment, so your nursery or school should take a look!

Message to America

Can we start a campaign to ban crap American products from the UK? I saw these in Aldi today, reminding me of a paradoxical fact: American junk food gives junk food a bad name. Pringles are just about acceptable, but "ranch" dressing, Oreos and those pathetic little bagel things that are coated in some disgusting "flavouring" - don't import them and don't licence them. Just don't bother - they're rubbish.

A new scam carpark

When I went to Sheepcote Street last night to pick Marti up from the Brasshouse Centre, I saw a sight that gave me flashbacks: a car on the back of a truck in the new carpark across the street. Straight away I could see what was going on: this was a scam carpark (scampark for short) and some poor shmuck was watching their car being towed away to god knows where, where it would be held hostage till he coughs up £350+.



I still don't understand why between them the council, the chamber of commerce, trading standards, MPs, the police and the courts can't put a stop to this extortion. In the meantime, be warned: if a carpark's got little notices up like this one, be sure they'll find any excuse to tow your car away. Scamparks are traps: they lure you in with the "promise" of cheap parking, but they make their money from the ridiculous fines that our even more ridiculous legal system lets them get away with imposing.

The NIA

Why is there always a fly in the ointment? My wife and daughter are going to the NIA on Saturday, which is nice. The tickets arrived today and we were surprised to see the warning "People around you may stand!" Notice it doesn't say that my wife and daughter may stand, but I guess that's the implication. The problem is that my daughter is 5 and won't be able to see much if an adult stands up in front of her, and my wife is unable to stand for prolonged periods.

So I rang the NIA, who immediately and rather brusquely transferred me to the ticket agent. The young lady told me that in her experience people don't stand so there shouldn't be a problem.

My questions are, if someone does stand in front of my wife and daughter, what can they do about it? And why is the NIA allowing standing on the upper tier?

Plonk

Sorry for being such a cheapskate, but having got use to paying £1 a bottle for wine when I lived in Hungary, I don't like paying more than £4 a bottle in England. Good news, then, that Tesco have a not-bad Chilean cab sav on offer at under a threer. Shame I'm not a middle-class pisshead.

Nescafe

Last time we ran out of instant coffee, my wife bought Nescafe. All I can say is, it's a triumph of marketing over taste. Terrible stuff.

The OJ paradox

Judging by Aldi and Tesco, there seems to be a trend to having from-concentrate fruit juices in the fridges and not-from-concentrates (NFCs) on the open (a.k.a "ambient") shelves. I quite like Aldi's 750 ml NFCs, and it's good that they don't take up fridge space at home until they're opened. Tesco have started stocking Eager ambient NFCs - I've tried the grapefruit and I'm not that keen.

But what's with stacking the cheapo juices in the chiller cabinets? It must just be to mislead the punters into thinking they're getting something they're not.

Tesco Tuscan Bean Soup

☼ I can't believe how much they're expecting us to pay for soup these days - more than 80p a can! I'm loath to buy any at that price, but I noticed that Tesco sell their Lighter Choices soups for half that, and this variety is nice 'n' spicy. (I had a similar experience to this reviewer: a shopper put half a dozen tins of it in her trolley while I was contemplating my selection...)

GranArom coffee

☼ At £1.35 a jar (from Aldi), not bad at all.